If it’s time to refill your cup & Meditate

 You can’t pour from an empty cup

You know those days, when you get up and you already feel, that’s not you’re your day. Your sleep hadn’t been relaxing, you are tired and unmotivated. Now, it’s up to you how to react. Are you fighting against them, trying to push through your day like you always do or will you listen to your body and mind and try to adapt your day accordingly?

You know the quote that “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. Acknowledge the feeling you feel right now and accept that the day might not be perfect. That can be the first step towards a better day than anticipated. Acceptance is the first step to overcome negative feelings. You don’t necessarily need to find a solution – changes will appear once you let go and accept the unchangeable.

The key to self-acceptance and healing is a slow and steady breath. While sitting down and taking a few deep breaths, your heart rate automatically goes down. A stabilized heart rate together with a slow and steady breath helps the body to regenerate and regulate the workflow of your organs, while certain areas of your brain get stimulated. If you train your breath over a couple of weeks your mind gets quieter, and you develop a heightened sense of awareness.

The best way to better breathing is to start a meditation practice

Recent studies have shown that meditation alters your brain. Already 2007 a study from psychologist Richard Davidson from the University of Wisconsin-Madison showed that a 3-months meditation training increased the attention of the participants (check: centerhealthyminds.org). Brain scans made before and after a study, showed that the amygdala, upon others responsible to regulate anxiety, decreased. In addition, the grey brain matter, associated with empathy, increased.

 4 easy steps, which make all the difference

1. Get Started

The moment you consciously decide to meditate, you take a huge step towards yourself. You deliberately take time for you. To sit down, eliminate all disturbing factors: no phone, no cake in the oven, no kids. (If you have kids, you may either want to meditate first thing in the morning or later in the evening.)

Start with 5 minutes per day. How hard is this? Make up 5 minutes a day just for yourself. Only thing to do is sit down and teak a deep breath in.

Don´t get stressed about sitting there for 20 minutes in silence, pretending you have no thoughts. This is not working! Start slowly and my advice is: start with a mediation App.

There is nothing more soothing than a slow voice, giving you instructions on how to direct your thoughts. Start with a trial period, as you may not like the voice of the narrator. Try out different types of meditations, some are with music, some without. These variety of Apps only exist, because we are all so different and everyone has its own preferences.

2. Give yourself some time.

It is totally normal to get distracted in the beginning. It is totally normal to feel awkward. Sitting there in the middle of the day (morning, evening, replace with every time you want) and doing nothing. We are all trimmed to be productive all the time. Doing nothing feels weird. It`s important to give yourself some time.

Giving up is always an option. It´s equally good to give up tomorrow or next week. Stay on track for a couple of days, weeks or even months. You need some kind of routine to realize, how meditating helps to quiet your mind and transfer this calm state of mind to other parts of the day.

3. Don´t listen to your thoughts.

The brain is a funny thing. It has always something to say. Really, always. There is not one moment during my day, where my brain doesn`t comments, instructs, or gives me well-intentioned tips or even scolds me.

This is how my brain works and I´m afraid, I´m not the only one. So, don´t worry, if your thoughts are telling you that “this is stupid” or “you could really use this time more effectively”. You are not your thoughts.

You find hundreds of books to this topic. Google it and you will find books and links to mindfulness and conscious living. Your thoughts try to distract you as best as they can, but they are not real. Let them pass by. Don´t get stressed about it. Watch them pass by and just sit.

4. Enjoy

This time of practice is sacred. I know this sounds spiritual and spirituality is not for everyone. No matter how this sound, one reason I preferred a guided meditation (and I still do most of the time), I fall under category 3: thoughts all over the place. They comment everything I do or don´t do. Listening to a guided meditation helps me to concentrate on the voice and just surrender in the moment.

One of my early meditation experiences was to listen to Yogarupa Rod Stryker (author of the book “The four desires” – incl. guided meditations) and founder of the Sanctuary App. He has created a whole library of valuable guided meditations, covering the main aspects of life (Peace, Heal, Empower, Spirit, Deep Sleep). One of my favorite sentences is “make this time of practice sacred”. I really like this. It`s the core of meditating: You take time for yourself and you make this time of the day sacred. This is, when you surrender to the moment and enjoy.

Accept your feelings and refill the cup 

Meditating helps not only to deal with stress and anxiety as you start to see your problems from a different angle, it also helps you to accept your current life circumstances as well as your energy level. Meditation can help you overcome negative beliefs and old patterns you possibly learned in your childhood. It´s a long way to overcome negative feelings and thoughts, but meditation is a way to open your view.

Being mindful helps you to live more in the present moment. You make wiser decisions: Maybe today is a day, where you best serve yourself, if you take a break and relax? Not fighting against deep fatigue but accept where you are. Only, if you listen to yourself, you will be able to fill the cup and recollect your energies.